A long absence – a period of reflection and a resolution…
I havent writtern here as much as I would have liked thriughout the period of the year, theres a very good reason – Ive felt Ive had nothing to say or reflect upon. In all honesty life has been rubbish again this year, but thats ony my head talking, my heart says the opposite. I await the day when they will align.
Poverty is what I crave, Iman is who I long after. I guess if i had blogged more throughout the year this would have been reflected here too… but i didnt want to bore anyone, and more importantly i didnt want to have to remind myself.
As a consequence i have little to flick back through from the year and bring to mind for reflection. My memory is rubbish, and one reason for this record was to help me remember the jounryes that I had gone through, the answers to prayer and the continuing love and faithfulness of my Father in times of need and of plently. Reading my daily bible reading this morning that I have just strated getting into my routine after 2 years of trying, Lucas on life, I was reminded of this collection of thoughts.
God instructs us to be reflective and thankful remembering the journey that he has set us on. I cant do that if Im too worried that Im going to upset myself with what I write, or I want to forget the day Ive had crying about Iman, or feel I have filled myself with false hope about going home. All are important and are part of the journey God has set me on, and placed me in.
A large part of my troubles this year have come from L being in hopsital and me not knowing how to handle it, or what to feel. But I now cant remember one emotion of the very few I have experienced repeatly. How can I track my thoughts and progress.
Therefore I resolve to try and capture my thoughts and feelings and prayers on paper or in word more often. Having something wholesome to come back to and use as a foundation of prayer for the next month or season that lies ahead.
The past season has passed rather unnoticeably – lonely, upset, but equally filled with hope. Theres a new season brewing as always God is faithful to His promises and plans that he has set in place. I look forward with expectation and hope that I may see that smile again, and cuddle Iman for hours on end. I look forward to going home