Friday 23rd May.
University seems like a test… a test of my faithfulness to Jesus. How can I hide the fact that I am just full of Him? I love the feeling and want it more and more, but at the same time I am so conscious of the fact that if asked any really probing questions I wouldn’t have the words to say. More wisdom Lord!
Met with jenny for lunch, and she was just hungry to know more… really hungry. It was so amazing to see her passion for Jesus, and her interest in what had been happening, and the fact that she wants to come to church to experience it…. Its not about Lexden though, it’s all about you and your presence Jesus, and that’s everywhere. At one point I was shaking in the spirit in the Writz just explaining about the past few days, having real trouble getting my words out in any coherent order, and she bursts out thumping the tables telling people that Revival is coming, and that they all need Jesus. I have to confess that I asked her to stop – how self-conscious of me… it shouldn’t be about how or what I feel, but about the amount of glory that Jesus gets. I was however much more open to the fact about telling people about Jesus than I would have been last week – another sign that my box and fear of judgement was smashed by the King on Tuesday!!
In the afternoon me and Jenny met with Hannah and went for a McFlurry trip – was great. I’m so going to miss Hannah when I’m away, we’ve become like sisters – I’ve seen her everyday this week….! It was great to share some of the fire with Jenny, but I pray that she will continue to receive it, and a deeper revelation of Jesus and His father heart which is so evidently clear to me at the moment. I regret the fact that we didn’t offer to pray directly with her, I hope she didn’t take any offence to that – I think it was just the reserved part of me kicking in, and the fact that I got so distracted in telling her all the amazing stories about the healings that I saw etc… I just love Jesus, and His Kingdom more and more by the minute.
Alpha in the evening was awesome; how can I resist evil was postponed on the Holy Spirits schedule, and gosh was His presence felt. It was amazing…. Stuff that I have been praying for, and hoping to see this week happened – people that have never experienced the spirit, and especially people that have doubted their faith, or are very uncertain fell over in the spirit. Grace was so shaken up, she was in tears and shaking ages after it happened. She can’t deny God now, she felt Him, and didn’t know what to say. Lord I just pray that you would continue to have this impact on your people father. Convince them through the experience of your spirit of your divinity, you holiness, and your fatherhood. Show them your reality Father.
Lee and Jonathan asked me and Hannah to pray with people, and it was great. I feel so comfortable doing it now, its almost strange to think about it because a week ago I found it hard to talk to these people let alone pray more of the spirit, or healing for them. God has shattered my walls, and I’m starting to become comfortable in the new surroundings.
Gone to pack holiday this evening, and I’m really looking forward to it even though it means that I am putting off my uni assignment, but my largest issue lies with the fact that I will not be able to go to church at all on Sunday. I’m just so full of the spirit that I long to be there more and more, but being full of the spirit means that I’m in the position where I can just give it out more and more too, and for that to happen to the un-churched I need to be outside the walls of the building.
Lee said something interesting to me tonight, whilst He was praying for me… “Have you considered the gap year?” YES! I find it in interesting that this comes one day after there is the offer of potentially becoming a lecturer at Writtle, and a few months after I plan to just stay in Uganda. What one do you want me to go with Jesus? I only seek to do your will Father… show me your plan for my life, and your plan for your glory through me. I will obey – you have my heart, my soul, my hands, and my feet. I am yours in the entirety.
